Wolves and Coffee
Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 1:24AM 
I’ve been in Melbourne for a year and a half and coming home to Britain is odd. I now identify mostly with my Aussie friends, looking at everything through antipodean eyes. A bit like that boy who got in with a pack of wolves when he was a baby and grew up walking doggy style. Well not like that but…and this is a big but (last time I do that, promise) I have the same priorities as my Melbourne friends. For example, when we arrived a week ago in beautiful Edinburgh the first job before anything else was to find the best café, with the best coffee. Pointless exercise really as I don’t drink coffee. I tried to get addicted to it but I gave up in the end, admitting that I will never be addicted to substances, only people.
Back to fringe. I find I’m no longer the special one with cute accent. I reckon that could reduce my pulling potential by half. Unless I target foreign tourists who will be charmed by the English-rose that stands in all her blooming glory before them. Saying that, I’m competing with all the other hundreds of British birds that swamp these streets. Hmmm. I need an angle. Maybe I should don my newly acquired Australian twang, dye my hair blond and pretend to be a Ozzie chick (‘25 and still at school..’)
Show wise, the highlights so far have to be having Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman and daughters come to the opening preview night. I stand by it was the worst show I’ve done during the six runs it has had. Apart from going on half an hour late, the lights being turned round the wrong way, a lighting technician taking over at the last minute who had never teched the show, I fell into a strange delirium during a song under the incredibly hot lights and just didn’t sing anything. Awkes to say the least. In the words of my director Tom Dickins, (Jane Austen Argument – also had a crap preview) ‘Apalling 1/2*’. But unbelievably, the audience bloody loved it! Amanda and Neil both tweeted to their millions of followers lovely things. So after having a little cry in the dressing room I decided that all my worst fears had been realised and it can only get better from here…
Book Tickets to see “The Damsel in Shining Armour” HERE
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Reader Comments (1)
i saw you in adelaide when your fans didn't work, and that was one of my favourite things about your show. it was hilarious. good luck with your edinburgh adventure - lights, fans, famous fans, accents and stars be damned.